Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My 3rd blog; how appropriate for me to address the issue of pain as the number 3 has always meant something special to me. Some form of pain is something that everyone goes through at some point in life, nobody can escape from it and the emotional pain of carrying that burden is sometimes too deeply rooted and etched in the deep recesses of our mind.
I am no stranger in this department. I have carried and "nutured" this pain deep inside me for more than 3 decades that it feels, at most times, impossible to shake it off, you dont know how to let go much as you want to. In order for me to survive I threw myself literally into doing something that gave me ultimate joy so that for a short span of time, I could forget all the unwarranted unhappiness and my passion in baking was my life line but somehow the pain managed to stay rooted in my mind and much as you want to let it go and let the inner wounds heal; it only goes away fleetingly and then like a bad penny, it resurfaces and will gradually seep into your being and fester in you, again and figuratively eats your guts that at times it seems physically and mentally impossible to heal but in order to restore a sembalance of inner peace in my life, I owe it to myself to, try to, just let go and let the healing process begin and take full circle. The change must begin from within in order for one to make peace with oneself and subsequently, being whole again. I have kept the pain alive for so long that it is time that I let it go. I taught myself over the years that for me, I should condition the thought that my happiness should never be totally dependent on anyone but myself and once I am able to accept that thought, the process of healing would, undoubtedly, start. I was very fortunate that I had my husband, who is my soul mate, and my children lending me their moral support for I dread to think what would have happened if I didnt have same.
till the next post, xoxo Ophelia